A page from my journal.

Can you guess what it is?

For me, the ugly truth has been discovering that all the horrific things we’ve heard, read, or seen on tv or in the movies about addiction… are true.

It’s a rude awakening.

And by the time you’ve figured it out, the toxicity has already begun to take its toll on your family.

I still have trouble wrapping my arms around the severity of this disease.

It’s sadly true that if you had a family member suffering from any other disease, the support would be abundant. People would likely go out of their way to cook a meal for you, to start a fund to pay for treatment, or to race for a cure. Casseroles aplenty.

The ugly truth is that addiction is generally misunderstood. Shamed. Neglected.

Characterized by the burden on society through crime and homelessness.

The road to recovery is less traveled, and the success stories are told by a woman or man who is silently holding their breath. Praying it sticks this time.

Sadly overpriced facilities with revolving doors are the only hope for most families. That or the superhuman power called will.

The other options are iron bars, homelessness, and death.

Treatment works when you work it. I’ve seen it in action when they were able to restore the twinkle in my daughter’s dull eyes – more than once.

We learn the hard way that remission and relapse are part of the process for most addicts. It’s a painful lesson. Somehow,  however brief, we’re able to convince ourselves that nope. Not this time! Not my child.

Until it happens.

The addict isn’t the only one who must surrender. We too must surrender ourselves as powerless over this disease.

With deep breaths, I’ll be reminding myself. It’s out of my hands. Praying for it to stick this time! That she’ll start living the life she was meant to live.

Awake and restless I’ll be praying for a miracle.