A page from my journal.
Hm. I guess I can see how someone might think that sobriety solves everything – uhh, sadly no. It definitely won’t fix all your problems, heck your problems may seem worse after you get clean.
For one, you’re likely to be held accountable for your poor choices… that, and you will feel EVERything. Nowhere to hide.
Here’s the good news.
Sobriety will give you a fresh start. A clear head. A clear mind to see through the fog. It may bring loved ones back into your life, and a sense of self-esteem. Heck, you may laugh again, and even enjoy a home cooked meal. It’s the little things.
It may even help you take a step, one after the other, towards joy. Yes, joy!
Warning. Once you start to build up some clean time you may start to feel restless. And as the problems you’ve created continue to haunt you, stacking one on top of the other, you may start to check out. Overwhelmed by the clear view of the wreckage. This absenteeism could be silently screaming/nudging you closer and closer to a relapse.
Welcome to the tipping point.
If you let the addict take over your line of thinking at this point. You’ll likely get lured down a dead end street, to the hole you know so well. The one you’ve been clawing your way out of for the last 95+ days.
Snap out of it! Don’t give up.
I’m not here to convince you to choose sobriety. To free yourself from the shackles of addiction. That’s your job. But I will say this.
If you have some clean time and you’re worried about relapsing. You are right to be afraid. 80% of those who OD, die alone…
Soak that in.
I’ve heard the worst thing you can say to an addict at this crucial point is: go to a meeting. Shit. I’m guilty of it.
One thing I’ve been told over, and over, and over, is that there is nothing I can say or do that will force you to use/relapse or even keep you clean. I’m told, I do not have that kind of power over your addiction. But you do.
So instead, I will listen to a song that makes me feel happy/safe.
What songs do you listen to when you feel afraid, angry, happy? Does your choice in music lift you up, or hold you down?
I listen to my girl Brandy.