In case you were wondering if it’s true, it is.
Whatever it is. Because at this point I’m too tired to defend or say otherwise. My daughter suffers from a sickness called consequences. And although on its own it may not be fatal, her addiction is.
Did you know that 100% of those who try heroin for the first time, try it with someone they know and trust. Did you also know that of those who die from a heroin overdose, 80% die alone?
It’s terrifying and keeps me up at night. Breaking my heart slowly.
But she is not alone in her battles with addiction. I feel like I’ve been battling her addiction as well. Fighting for her life. And at this point I’m struggling to keep my head above water.
As time continues to pass her by, my daughter gets thinner and the hole she’s been digging gets bigger, and her eyes grow more dull.
Visually she seems distant. It’s as if she’s gently floating away on a rowboat without oars. I can still see her off in the distance, but have no idea how to reach her.
I have tried to keep her story private for so long, but it’s no use because I can’t bear to hold it in any longer.
Waiting for her to decide if/when she’s had enough of the desolate life she’s been leading is the most gut wrenching experience of my life. Waiting for her to figure it out before life intervenes. And it will. It’s only a matter of time.
Sadly, I have no control over her disease. It’s heartbreaking to be powerless over your child’s suffering.
To my daughter I say, I love you unconditionally and will always be in your corner loving you and cheering for you. You deserve all the wonderful things life has to offer. I know you are scared, and yes, it’s going to be hard but you are worth it!
You are your best self when you are not using drugs and I want you to know that I miss you every single day that you’re away. You are always in my heart.
To whomever else is reading this, whatever you may be going through, I want you to know that you are not alone.
Best wishes, Shar