Living beyond hope

Allowing joy to reenter your heart.


August 2018

My restless mind

2016 I haven't written in a while. I've been going through something, though nothing new. It feels selfish that I've been turning so inward, feeling lonely and stuck in my head. We've been through so much. So many have been... Continue Reading →

The gift 

2015 Daily, several times a day. When I'm alone with my thoughts, I revisit the situation with my daughter. I replay memories searching for moments where I got it wrong as her mom. Where I must have failed her. I... Continue Reading →

Mixed emotions

2015 She reaches 30 days in treatment this week. It's the point in treatment that brings mixed emotions. I spoke with her last night and she says she is ready to go. She's making plans. And she sounds different. Not driven... Continue Reading →

The motel stakeout

2015 With tears in her eyes wrapped up in a blanket. Hugging me she said, "Mom, I'm scared." Rewind. I showed the motel manager her picture, and he said he'd seen her earlier that day. After driving up and down... Continue Reading →

Turning pages

2016 I struggle to get a good night's sleep, especially away from home. I awoke to a gorgeous view and the sound of the ocean from my quaint room. I'll be visiting my daughter today. We get to spend 8... Continue Reading →

What about love

2016 Our time together on this planet is short. From early on, we're plagued with expectations set on us or by us. To do more. Be more. Give more. Be better. To prove ourselves. To have more "likes" and "followers".... Continue Reading →

Now what 

2017 The last two days I've been distant. Not wanting to do much of anything. And not sure why it's always surprising when the chaos leads to paralysis and stops me in my tracks. If that sounded dramatic. It is.... Continue Reading →

Shake it off

2015 A familiar melody goes through my mind, as I read those 3 small words I can hear Taylor Swift's voice in my ear. "Cause the players gonna play, play, play, play, play. And the haters gonna hate, hate, hate,... Continue Reading →

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