I struggle to get a good night’s sleep, especially away from home.

I awoke to a gorgeous view and the sound of the ocean from my quaint room.

I’ll be visiting my daughter today. We get to spend 8 hours together – today and tomorrow – away from treatment, and I’m excited!

To be honest, I haven’t felt “excited” to see her in a long time. Other words come to mind (i.e. scared, frantic, desperate).

I woke up feeling tired. It was a long drive last night, about 4 hrs or so, and I didn’t get checked into my room ’til about 11pm.

By the time I showered and crawled into (a less than comfy) bed, it was likely midnight. With all that said, I can’t remember the last time I woke up feeling “rested”.

I wonder what we’ll do today? I guess I will just wait and see how she feels.

I can’t wait to hug and kiss her:)! We will spend Easter together tomorrow, her favorite holiday. Or, at least it used to be.

Turning back pages takes me to Easters when she was little, with smiles and giggles.

She was always a skeptic when it came to the adult sized Easter bunny. She’d rather cry than take a photo with him. Flip forward to Easters 10 yrs or so ago, us girls tackling each other to find the carefully hidden eggs, and finally to Easter last year with colorful eggs and me: in tears.

Today is a brand new page in the rest of our lives.

I realize this. She will struggle in her recovery. It’s not easy, nobody said it was. And the daily struggles will continue, for as long as it does.

She may question if it’s all worth it. Feeling guilt, even shame, when forced to face the path of destruction left by her busy addiction.

But at least she’s feeling something!

Something other than desolate… or high.

It won’t be easy, but it will be worth it. For all of us.

May you who is reading this feel hope.

With love,