July 2015:

It’s when I’m alone with my thoughts that I’m the most vulnerable.

The silence is deafening when it surfaces feelings of heartache, disappointment, fear, and worry.

In the blink of an eye, the days so carefully counted have reset back to zero. Leaving behind a familiar stranger named “flu”.

Reflecting on the warning signs reminds me now of watching a semi truck traveling at full speed in reverse towards oncoming traffic. Truth be known, it doesn’t matter what I think or feel. It’s not my battle.

Who really holds the cards?

It’s been days, and I’m torn realizing that I’ve returned to this empty space. That lacks certainty.

I can’t stay here long. I’ll need to start digging soon, back towards the light. I’ll be praying that she meets me there, in a little town called hope.

Best, Shar